A Zesty Enterprise

Because I'm too lazy to keep a real journal and I feel bad boring my friends with self-indulgent ramblings.

Thursday, June 14, 2012


So it took me a good 20 minutes to even remember/figure out how to post to this blog. I guess in the year+ since I last posted, they made some changes to the system. Also I had to remember which email account this blog is associated with. Anyway! I'm back! At least for long enough to post this latest comparison photo.

That's my dad holding me in, oh, early 1979 maybe, and me holding my daughter at her birthday party this May.

Monday, June 06, 2011

Moms and daughters

My mom used to tell me (often when we looked at my baby photos or watched the old 8MM films of me as a baby) that she wished I could have met my baby self. I now believe I have. Sometimes holding my baby girl, I feel like I'm meeting myself -- like I'm looking into a mirror that shows the past. It's not just her physical resemblance to me (which I think is concentrated on the bottom half of her face -- and her hair) but certain mannerisms and expressions.

And even though I really don't resemble my mother at all, I've started to look like her in more and more photos since I became a mom.

Maybe next time I need new glasses, I'll pick out some 1970s specials to make the circle complete.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Some thoughts pre-delivery

But not from me...from my mom's journal. She wrote this entry (this is not the whole thing, just an excerpt) when I was almost three years old.

Then, one day, it became a reality -- am I or am I not pregnant? Then, will it be alright, followed by doctors, tests, hospitals, results!! A fine, healthy little girl -- Perfect -- of course she is perfect -- always was -- beautiful, everything in its right place.

The night she was born, 9.15 pm, I lost count of the time after 12 noon Saturday 29th October, false labor had begun on Friday about 4 am -- twinges, small irregular contractions -- too excited to sleep. I knew I was supposed to rest up for the main event, but I couldn't think of sleep, impossible -- my daughter was about to come out into the world -- I would actually touch her, kiss her, count her fingers and toes. Would she be fair like me or darker like Sal? Would she have blue eyes or brown? A lot of hair or bald? What weight would she be? More important than anything, would she be OK? Would the actual birth be natural or caeserian, and would I be able to go thru labor without sedation?

All day Friday -- waiting, timing, not eating in case things really got started in a hurry. Friday night, Sal home from work, I'm still here, pains still not 5 minutes apart 12 times in a row, the prerequisit for admission into hospital. Friday evening Rose & Joe came over but I couldn't entertain them properly, my world was suddenly limited to me, my baby and Sal, in that order. There was room for nobody else, only us three, about to be united, a family -- THE family.

According to the current plan, I will be going to the hospital on Tuesday to meet our little girl. A couple of factors have rendered it preferable to schedule it instead of waiting for nature to take its course, but even though I probably won't be having the labor experience my mother had, I can identify with her thoughts and feelings as she was on the threshold of meeting her long-awaited baby girl.

Here's hoping she's as perfect as I was. :)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Heavy thoughts

Sometimes (usually during the workday - shhh!) I check out certain websites/blogs as a little mental getaway. I used to like FML, but after a while it became a little too negative for me. Then I learned about Gives Me Hope and Makes Me Think. (Thanks, Meg!) GMH is a bit too cloying sometimes, so lately I favor MMT. Even if not all the submissions do make me think, they're generally interesting to read. But I was just noticing that there are a few major recurring themes across these submissions. One is self-harming. Another is suicide. A third is parents rejecting their kid because the kid is gay, or otherwise "different." (It seems like most of these are written by the kid -- the kid who self-mutilates, or considered suicide, or came out to his/her parents.)

And as a future parent, these really upset me. When I was a kid I was barely aware of any of this stuff. Even as a teenager, I don't think I knew there was such a thing as "cutting". I knew there was suicide in the world, but I didn't know anyone personally who had attempted it, committed it, or been affected by a loved one doing so. I vaguely knew about homophobia but it wasn't part of my life. I knew some gay people when I was in high school, and lots more once I got to college and beyond, but it wasn't a big deal to me and from what I could tell, it wasn't a big deal to my parents either.

I'm not worried about being that parent who turns her kids out on the street for being who they are (as long as who they are isn't an animal abuser -- that's another story), nor even worried about making it clear to them that I don't care if they're gay or want to wear their hair in blue spikes (at a reasonable age) or whatever. I hope that I can do as good a job of raising them to be open-minded as my parents did raising me. I want them to be as puzzled and as horrified as I am that there are people in the world who actually disown their loved ones for such things.

But I am a bit worried about all this self-harming and depression/suicide stuff. From things I've read and seen (granted, mostly fiction), it seems like sometimes even if the kid is raised in a loving home, something just leads him/her to these self-destructive thoughts and behaviors, and sometimes the parents are last to know. Why are so many kids so depressed, and why was I so completely unaware of it when I was their age? If I could at least relate to it, it would give me as basis for dealing with it from the parental side (if, heaven forbid, I need to one day), but I'm at a total loss. I would never have said I was "sheltered" growing up -- I mean, I grew up in New York City, took the subway to high school every day with a diverse group of kids (albeit all nerds), had an after-school job, even experimented with a little underage drinking and smoking, all the usual stuff -- so was all this going on around me and I was clueless, or is it that it's a lot more prevalent these days? And do sites like MMT make this sort of thing seem more common than it really is, because these troubled kids gravitate toward them?

I don't want to be a helicopter parent, but I want to be involved enough to at least maybe have a chance of being clued in to whether my kid is about to slit her wrists.

I can't believe I am already worrying about this stuff when she won't even be born for another couple of months. Welcome to parenthood, I guess.

Friday, January 21, 2011

It's a...

...baby who will be wearing things like this!

The (very wrinkled) zippered onesie was mine when I was a baby. The Lilly Pulitzer cardigan I bought for a friend when I thought (hoped) she might be having a girl. Her son is almost 7 now and I decided to keep it in case I myself ever had a girl. And now I am! (Bonus: the cardigan was purchased in Nantucket!)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

El Duderino? Dudette?

As I mentioned in my last post (wow, less than a month ago!), I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Chiefly: the baby the Dude and I are expecting in the spring.

Nope, we don't know yet whether it's a boy or girl. We may find out in January, but this baby has already shown itself to be capricious.

(Shout-out to Gabe for the blog post title suggestion.)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Giving thanks

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Being a prolific blogger is not one of them. :)

Until I return (before the end of this year, I promise!), entertain yourselves with this quiz and have a blessed Thanksgiving with loved ones.

(I am the stuffing: "You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.")

Thursday, June 03, 2010

One year later

This is my fourth "one year" post, but for once, it's not about death. (Imagine that!) This time it's a happy anniversary: our first wedding anniversary!

When planning our wedding, we had debated where to go for our honeymoon. A European cruise was one of our top choices, but in the end we decided that would be too active when all we'd want to do, after hectic wedding planning, was rest. So we opted for a Caribbean beach stay then and soon thereafter decided we'd do the Europe cruise for our anniversary. Honestly, I was itching to plan the Next Big Thing as soon as we got back from our honeymoon. :)

We had cruised before so we knew we both liked the whole setup, although our first cruise was way too short at five nights. For our anniversary trip we chose a twelve-nighter, also on Royal Caribbean as was our first one. (After the first cruise we were "gold members" and got some onboard perks...after a few more it's platinum level!) It was a Barcelona roundtrip with port calls in Cannes, Livorno (Pisa), Civitavecchia (Rome), Naples, Venice, Dubrovnik, and Corfu. Well, we had to skip Naples as swells prevented our ship from getting positioned safely for passengers to get off, but we visited and enjoyed the rest of the ports of call.

This was on our anniversary itself. I get a kick out of being able to say we spent our wedding anniversary on the French Riviera! Fancy!

We were both enchanted by the Colosseum in Rome.

The ship had a masquerade ball after the Venice visit; carnival masks are sold pretty much everywhere you go in Venice.

The brave or bored can go here to view the whole album...all 350 photos.

All in all, it was a terrific way to spend our anniversary. Now...what's next??