Forever young

When do we start feeling like "grown-ups?" Anyone got any thoughts? Because I'm 32 and haven't gotten there yet.

I always feel like a "kid." I refer to females my age as "girls," not "women." (Guys are lucky that they have the age-neutral term "guys.") I thought getting married might make me feel like I'd crossed that line from childhood to adulthood, but no. You might think losing both parents and selling the house I grew up in -- things I'd normally consider "adult" responsibilities -- would have gotten me there, but no. My husband is about to turn 40, which definitely sounds adult to me, and yet...nope. The other day, a friend told me she was in an interview situation and the person interviewing her told my friend she liked her shoes. My first thought was, "was she our age or a grown-up?" How can a 32-year-old woman* think this way?

I'm terrible with kids because I think I am still one of them, not an authority figure. I'd like to think that (someday) having my own kids might push me across that threshold, but I bet not. Grandkids?

And...does it matter? Most people seem to admire a sense of youthfulness in an older person. But there might be questions of appropriateness to consider; I don't want to be the middle-aged fool who doesn't know how to act her age.

I guess it's nothing to fret over right now. I just wonder sometimes if I'll ever stop feeling like a kid playing house.

* And yes, that felt unnatural to type in reference to myself.