I think I'm heartless

I've learned something about myself over the years, and I was reminded of it yesterday: I don't care much about large-scale disasters unless they directly affect my life.

Yesterday afternoon/evening, there was a horrendous Metro accident here in DC. I learned of it via the radio on my drive home, which does not take me anywhere near the accident site. Even when I used to take Metro to work, I did take that line, but on the opposite end.

I could think of one person I "know" (and I don't even know him personally, but he's my friend's husband) who takes that end of that line, so I texted my friend to make sure her hubby was OK, and he was. That was the extent of my interest in it. Sure, I felt saddened by the loss of life, but I didn't need to keep hearing about it over and over.

When 9/11 happened, many people were glued to the 24/7 TV coverage of the disaster. I watched at first just to find out what the hell was happening, since our classes were abruptly canceled and it was raining ash outside, but once I did find out what had happened and how it affected me, I was no longer interested in the news coverage.

Am I terrible?

I guess I just don't see what good it's going to do me to watch hour after hour of coverage, where things quickly descend into the repetitious and sensational. I learn the facts, I discern how those facts affect me, and then I figure I'll hear of any changes when I next turn on the radio the following day -- or someone will call or email me if there's some breaking update that does affect me in some way.

I can't decide if it makes me awfully selfish or just...depression-avoidant. I also can't decide whether it matters.