Weird dream and implications
I don't want this to become an all-grief blog, but I have to put this weirdness in writing. Last night I dreamed that I received a note from my mom (it was supposedly an e-mail, although I was reading it on paper written in her handwriting -- maybe I'd e-mailed her and she responded via snail mail) wherein she told me she was now living as an English despot named William in the 1200s. (I think I meant that to be like a lord, who rules over serfs and all.) She explained she'd had one of her servants rig access to her old e-mail account. She said "all of it was true," which I knew (you know how in a dream you just know something, even if it makes no sense, because, well, you're the one making it up as you go?) to mean that all the stuff we learned/believed/hoped about heaven and the afterlife was true. She also asked us (and by "us" I knew she meant me and my coworkers, since I received and was reading the letter at work) to send her a Christmas tree.
Maybe it's the new bedding.
It all seemed vaguely plausible even when I first woke up. Only after a little while did I think, "well, how could she write me from the 1200s?" OK, maybe we can use BTTF logic to answer that. Also I thought, "but if our teachings about the afterlife are 'all true', then why was she reincarnated, and in the past? Catholics don't believe in reincarnation, let alone retroactive reincarnation!" By this time I was fully awake and disappointed, because I'd been hoping I could get away with interpreting at least the "all of it's true" part as some sort of message from her, but I don't think I can buy that when it came in the middle of all that nonsense about feudalism.
Then the first song I heard on the radio after I awoke from that dream was "My Heart Will Go On." As in:
Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Eek! I had never thought of that as anything but the hokey Titanic song...until this morning.
Then the next song I heard was "You Raise Me Up," which has always made me emotional -- first because it was sung for the Space Shuttle Columbia astronauts at the Super Bowl better known for the wardrobe malfunction, and later because I associated it with my mom after she died. You know the one:
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... to more than I can be.
I mean, come on. All this in succession? I can only take so much, especially on very little sleep!